Thailand Travel Notes: Second Visit 2005
2/16/05 RETURN TO THAILAND.  Returned from Gaya, India via Indian Airlines to Bangkok.   What a relief.   Outside the terminal hopped aboard a local bus to Ayutthaya, found a room at the bungalow attached to the school behind the monastery,clean, secure, but stuffy hot.  Kong and family remembered me.  Bought airline ticket BKK-Tapei-LAX-DFW for 15 March return to USA. 2/21 After spending a few quiet rest  days, mornings beside the red brick chedi ruins of Wat Langkhadum surrounded by a network of canals and trees, then delicious lunches at the open air cafe across from Raja Mangala girls school, then stuffy afternoons in my room or sometimes a raucous Internet-games site, decided to hop some buses down to Surat Thani.  After four local buses and three motorcycles reached Prachuap Kirikhan.  Next day I reached downtown Surat Thani, discovered Hotel Seelee, big, old, cheaper than others (200 TB), comfortable third floor room 328.  2/25 day trip by bus and ferry to Ko Samui island, but only for a stroll around the small tourist port town,  lots of English and German spoken, numerous clothing shops, fairly tasteless tourist food.  On the slow return trip sat on a shaded forward upper deck in a pleasant sea breeze and enjoyed watching destination port loom larger and larger with gradual approach.  Everything under control,  the goal attainable, unlike spiritual wanderings adrift without bearings or  verifiable progress. 2/27 Bus back up to Suan Mokkh just south of train stop of Chaiya.  Mark, a large American Brooklyn bhikkhu samanera with vivid color tattoos across chest, robes draped carelessly, seen in dining hall eating all alone without company of any Thai monks, even washing his own dishes.  As we met at the sink, I learned that he ordained at a Cambodian temple in the US but never received much attention or even  instruction in practical details such as how to wear robes.  He decided to come to Thailand.  But the Thai monks did not receive him with open arms.  They told him to go eat with the other foreigners because he was "only a samanera novice" However Abbot Poh called Mark over as we walked back together from the dining hall past the monk's hall.  The abbot told Mark he should not be eating with the laymen.  Then when we met one of the monks, Mark tried to explain the abbot's ruling but the monk could not understand English and just grinned.  A few days later Mark told me the situation was "working out".   I noticed that he had been assigned by Abbot Poh to attend some of the retreat programs, however he was still all alone.  The Thai tradition always pairs up novice monks with a responsible companion for the first five or six years.  Patient endurance, Mark, he supreme incinerator of defilements.  Hang in there!  Kind of sad to see his large lumbering body  shuffling along on the periphery of the retreatants, one of them but not one of them, meanwhile all of us observing noble silence.  I gave him my reserve jar of DEET insect repellent which he appreciated for the red sores on his bare white ankles. 2/28 Registered at the Suan Mokkh International Center, a 20 minute walk from the highway.  1500 TB nonrefundable, surrendered passport. Reinhart, German coordinator, Susan.  Mild run-in with Susan ("you mean you are serious?") about helpful suggestion to align men-women registration form boxes in same left-right order as the prescribed male-female seating division for the meditation hall.  Bare concrete cell #254, hot, no fan, spider webs choking maze of unbrushable vent holes, no bed but for a hard shelf, and the outside door locked 9 pm-4 am like a prison.  Noble silence among about 80 retreatants.   I lasted only 1-1/2 days. The physical knee and back pain was actually bearable in spite of my aging joints, but the constant barrage of speeches by various speakers, all of them hard to understand, began to wear me down.  I remembered the blissful silence, or sometimes boring silence, at Boonkanjanaram.  Discussed it with Reinhart who also informed me the fifth and sixth steps of the 16 step anapanasati sutta, the special objects of my interest in coming, dealing with cultivating feelings of contentment and happiness, would not be covered in this introductory retreat.  He allowed me to leave if I wished, and as I have seen how Abbot Poh is not fluent in English and therefore not likely to explain fine points even if a special interview were granted, I decided to leave, thinking that Boonkan would be a better retreat for me.  I had to wait patiently about half a day until the person in charge of the safe arrived to open  it to return my passport.  I can practice self restraint but really do not like to be confined. 3/2 Bused back to Seelee Hotel in Surat Thani, in fact to my very same room #328.  When I was on the point of calling up Khun Vitoon at Boonkan to ask if my hut was still available, it occurred to me that every condition available at Boonkan was also available right here in Surat Thani in the security of a hotel room, if I could only make it so.  So I have ended up suspended between both centers trying to structure my own retreat.  The next ten days will be a real challenge to stay in my room, exit  for meals only, abstain from Internet and stick to the eight precepts. Ironic to have gone all the way to India and Thailand looking for Sangha only to end up alone in a hotel room, even more alone than Mark.  Felt ashamed to leave the others behind at Suan Mokkh. I even waited until the road was clear to avoid being seen leaving.   Felt ashamed to  enjoy a meal in Surat Thani knowing the others are sitting hungry.  Felt ashamed to read  a newspaper while lying stretched out on a hotel bed under a lazy overhead fan while the others are suffering sore knees and excruciating speeches.  Even the enjoyment of this Internet session has been muted.  I must make the best of this and stick to my private retreat "as if" I were at Suan Mokkh but only without the irritating speeches.  Next data entry should be around 3/13 to take care of my godsons  before train return to Bangkok.  The eighth precept, not to use luxurious seats or high beds,  has been reinterpreted to my better understanding, to prohibit lying down on any soft bed, no matter what the height of the legs off the floor might be.  Also I have noticed that coffee affects my system too strongly ever since my Indian hiatus where it was not available. So I have added it as an additional toxic substance to the fifth precept. 3/6  At Net Zone Samart Internet (Chan, braces and ponytail) two blocks from hotel, polishing the wording of the eight precepts.  Will not list coffee after all, otherwise would have to call my personal set the "Eight Whoa Way Rules".   I remember reading that the Buddha did not allow a certain splinter group to impose their own more ascetic rules as binding on all monks, although he allowed the practices to those who wished to do them.  (The 13 dhutanga practices include wearing robes made from cast-off rags, dwelling without shelter such as under a tree or a cemetery, eating only one meal a day, not eating second helpings, eating only what is placed in the alms bowl even if nothing but rice, and so on.  Maha Kassapa, one of the Buddha's main disciples, was known for this kind of zeal). 3/9 In praise of Seelee Hotel. 3/13 Bus to Suan Mokkh, visit with Samanera Mark.  He is interested in out of body experiences.  He did not want to practice sitting with me but we had a friendly talk.   Night train, Chaiya to Hualampong station, Bangkok. 3/14 Woodlands Inn Hotel 3/15 Early morning taxi to airport, then China Airlines flight to Taipei, then to LAX (12 hr across Pacific).  Barely made it in time to the domestic AA terminal for the last leg to DFW.  Gerald met me and we got lost driving back to Mineral Wells. I returned from my Asian trip without having found any place to stay there or any personal guru.  However I appreciated seeing the Bodhi tree and even brought back a fallen leaf.  The Buddha taught to be a light unto yourself.  I lost any illusions about becoming a monk. Home Page (jwleaf.org)