Sunday, 8 June, 2008
Boquete, Salamanca Mountain Foothills, Panama

Dear Dad,

Father’s Day is coming up next week and I have been thinking about you for some time now. There may still be time for this letter to reach you before next Sunday the 15th if it is sent in care of my mail agent from Las Vegas (he will print it from Internet). That address continues to be my postal address for wherever I may travel in this world.

I was thinking of you lately when I happened to come across an ancient text ascribed to the Buddha where he is speaking about repaying one’s parents. He says there is no way a child can repay them for all they have done by merely taking care of their physical needs, even if they live to be 100. But he says they can be completely repaid “by establishing unbelieving parents in faith, immoral parents in moral discipline, stingy parents in generosity and ignorant parents in wisdom.”

Thinking about what I could do to repay you in these last four categories, I believe you are probably all right in respect to faith, moral discipline and generosity. Regarding the category of wisdom, the Buddha defined “wisdom” is seeing the world as it is. By “seeing the world as it is”, Buddhists consider three characteristics of the world of foremost importance. These three so-called marks of existence are impermanence, unsatisfactoriness and absence of self (meaning not me, not mine). If someone views the world or life in the world as being impermanent, inherently unsatisfactory and not mine, not me, then that person is considered wise. This kind of wisdom leads to disenchantment which in turn reduces the passions of desire and hatred and the delusion of “me” and “mine”. Then when desire, hatred and delusion are dropped, the suffering which they cause fades away and the wise man lives in peace.

When I ask myself how wise you appear to be according to this definition of wisdom, and if there is anything I could do to establish you in this wisdom, in some ways you appear to be wise, in other ways it is unclear. It is hard to be sure without frequent contact over a long time. We have not communicated by letters for a long time. The only news of you which reaches me is occasional reports from my sisters, so I have to guess at your state of wisdom by indirect clues.

Your detachment from me, and maybe not only me but to some extent all of your children, could be a sign of wisdom. Attachment to people, even children, does change and fade over time, especially when the children are much older than the parent was when he fathered them. For example you were only 25 when I was born, but now at age 65 I am 40 years older than you were then. (If this isn’t a sign of impermanence, then what is?) Impartiality is also a sign of wisdom, and you have always been even-handed towards us your children except possibly in minor ways such as the trust restrictions on one but not all. In fact, your fair, even-handed treatment of us has inspired me to be more equitable with my own godsons, trying not to favour one over the other in spite of personal preferences or disappointments. The amount of support for each one has depended more on his or her need and capacity to receive than on personal chemistry. Another sign of wisdom on your part is your calm, dispassionate temperament and moral conduct.

However, indications of weakness in the wisdom category might be attachment to things or views. Attachment to material things might be why “stinginess” is singled out for mention in the paragraph above about repaying ones parents. However, even materially generous parents such as you can be strongly attached to views. For example the deluded view “This is mine, I is me, this is my self” is deeply rooted in just about everyone. Since you and I hardly ever discuss divergent views about morality, religion or politics, it is hard to judge the degree of attachment to your own views which in general you keep to yourself. This may indicate protective attachment to some views.

In regard to dealing with problematic views, I can mention some examples in my case with regard to certain Buddhist views that are hard to grasp. For example, while I completely agree with the bedrock essence of Buddhism, The Four Noble Truths, when it comes to some secondary views I struggle to reconcile them with modern thinking and my background. For example, according to contemporary cosmology, the universe began from a singularity about 15 billion years ago, but the early Buddhist cosmology describes a universe with no definable beginning. The Buddha claimed to have recalled his evolutionary development across eons of time, entire cycles of world systems. He claimed to remember all of his past lives, amounting to hundreds of thousands, an uncountable number of lives, requiring much more time than the emergence of the human species about two million years ago can account for. Can this be explained by parallel worlds in this universe of billions and billions of habitable planets? Reincarnation is another difficult concept. If there is no soul or self, how can there be continuation from one life to another? The Buddhists have an answer for this called dependent origination, but it is hard to understand. Then there is the important concept of karma: intentional actions bear good and bad fruit even in future lives. This is hard to understand even though it may seem plausible in my current life. If merit can accumulate, where and how is it stored? When the Buddha was asked by sceptics of the time about such views as whether or not there was a soul or life after death, he refused to answer these kinds of questions. He called them undeclared. He said these questions were not helpful for reaching the goal of freedom from suffering. He always came back to the Four Noble Truths: suffering, the cause of suffering, the cessation of suffering, and the way leading to the cessation of suffering. So when I come up against some views hard to grasp, I have to set them aside for the time being and focus on the truths which ARE most evident to me, namely the Four Noble Truths. Other views of lesser importance can distract from the goal.

I hope this letter is not drifting on too long. I am trying to say that I do care about your spiritual attainment of wisdom and peace, even though for lack of contact I may not really know your present state of mind or world views. At least I hope your customary habit of watching bad news on the television does not depress you too much. Maybe you have sufficient wisdom that the suffering of the world does not affect your equanimity. It is evident that you don’t need my material support beyond the monthly annuity out of our trusts which you set up in part as a tax shelter. Without trustee rights or testamentary rights, I have no say in the administration of my trust. However, if there is anything else you need, please tell me, if there is any way to repay you.

With love, your son Jonathan

P.S. About some recent news, there was a recent flood of the lower part of Andarivel beside the river. An account of it with a link to some photos is copied below from my most recent news page. The river washed away some valuable land. The shock of seeing hundreds of hours dedicated to cultivation disappear in one afternoon caused me to suspend further work on Andarivel and leave it behind in the care of a trusted neighbour. I have dedicated enough years of work there. Nothing in this impermanent world can be saved from the ravages of time (including the body). It may be time to attend to higher goals of spiritual enlightenment. Thus I have resumed homeless wandering, at present in Panama. If my residence visa to Costa Rica is ever granted I would like to find a quiet, more secure place to live there, probably under lease instead of buying another property right away, as you did with the apartment in Galveston.

6/02/2008 San Isidro, after The Flood.  After my last post, a tropical depression rain began and alternately poured and drizzled steadily for more than thirty hours. After I took the repaired computer on the morning bus back up to San Gerardo to Ana´s house and successfully installed it and the printer there, I hurried down to the river, concerned by the raging transformation seen while crossing the high suspension bridge. I had never seen it so high in eight years. Down at the Andarivel bottom the river was pouring over the restraining dike uprooting newly planted yucca and willow trees.  At least my high camp seemed to be out of reach of the plunging falls. While listening to the relentless grind of massive boulders tumbling along the river bottom and feeling the trembling vibration of the ground, I drifted into a tired sleep. Suddenly I woke up to a most alarming sound: water was sloshing my blanket. Incredibly the river had surged right up to my level.  Turbid, cold, brown water was swirling around the foot of my meditation platform.  I snatched my sleeping bag and jumped up, only to see another arm of the river coursing wildly down the inner part of my well groomed garden where no river was ever expected to be. It was unbelievable. I was trapped between two arms of streaming water. I paced back and forth on a precarious narrow island joining the camp and the kitchen looking for an escape but did not see any option except to throw myself into the inner torrent or else climb a large boulder to spend a cold, wet night.  Just at that moment I spotted a neighbor across the river, Juan Elizondo, wearing a blue rain slicker, having come down to survey the thundering damage to his trout canal. He waved at me and motioned to get out of there, but I shrugged my shoulders, there was no way. About fifteen minutes later, as I watched the water level rising up to the kitchen floor, suddenly the boots of five men appeared below the view of the kitchen tarp. They were the Elizondo brothers having come down to rescue me. They tossed a thick rope over to me which I tied around my waist with a bowline knot.  I tossed my sleeping bag across, then waded across anchored to the stout rope.  I thanked them and led them up to the main gate with an apology for not being able to offer them a cafecito as my kitchen was down by the river. One of them remarked woefully, "Your kitchen might be lost".  As soon as they left, I grabbed my camera and returned to the river. I noticed that the inner torrent had heaped a pile of debris around an irrigation hose, over which I managed to climb back to my camp. It seemed that the river had reached its maximum level. Night was coming on and the rain was tapering off.  I took a few photos until the camera battery gave out. Then my neighbor Jose and his son Anthony came down to witness the destruction. The next morning I took some more photos, then the next day a few more.  The worst damage has been loss of soil.  The river gouged a lagoon from what was once a shallow stream. It scoured the goldfish pond completely. It bent the metal posts on the restraining dike. It flattened many young trees. However I expect most of the trees to recover, those that were not uprooted completely. The screen of king river grass which used to line the river bottom was crushed and polished like white bones. It will grow back in most places taking longer over bare rock, but the open river is now nakedly exposed to view from everywhere and the Andarivel interior is visible from the other bank. There is a feeling of vulnerable exposure where I used to feel sheltered and protected. The river seems to be telling me, "Wake up! Time to move on!".  Further downstream from Andarivel the entire region is in a state of disaster. Many buildings in Herradura on the Rio Blanco which joins Rio Chirripo below Andarivel were destroyed. All of the bridges downstream were destroyed. Public bus service will not be restored for weeks. Today I crossed the washed out 100 foot bridge at Rivas on foot. The highway to San Jose is still closed by landslides. The highway south to Panama, however, is open, and I will be renewing my visa there. Meanwhile Jose and Ana will care of Andarivel in my absence.  On another note, today I received a long awaited shipment of The Long Discourses of the Buddha, a treasure to study in Panama. Then by fortunate chance I met Jesus here at Internet Cafe Balcon. We walked around for awhile and I reminded him to keep the five rules for his future happiness. I left my old Flagstaff, AZ green cap at the bodega for Juan who was always borrowing it.  I gave a parting godfather talk to Daniel a few days ago counseling him to complete his education.

5/28San Isidro. Upgrading the ram memory on the computer of Jesus to give it to Ana and Jose. Jesus will be getting a new and more powerful one for his birthday. There were various reactions to my recent letter about cutting trees, ranging from mild to hostile. The craving to possess a piece of land exclusively for oneself can provoke a hostile reaction when it meets with the reality of sharing our place in this world with others. I remember the first time I got irate when some Ticos crossed "my" land by the river.  I was not very civil to them that time. Now after eight years I think I understand the local customs better and I would react differently with more good will and less heartburn.  There is nothing in this impermanent world that is worth clinging to. In any case, Rio Chirripo has risen considerably with recent heavy rains; it will not be fordable until next December.

5/23 San Isidro. The completed translation was finally handed over to Costa Rican migration today. Muscle aches in the shoulder area have diminished since the injection. Jesus and his best friend Aron Zhong Knorl (pronounced like chohng konor) met me this afternoon to shop for a new computer for his upcoming birthday on June 1st. Meanwhile this morning I was successful in locating the parts of a complete computer station for Ana, Jose and their children, as well as landscape supplies for Andarivel, all of which will go up tomorrow morning by cargo taxi. A letter to my neighbors Gerhard and Kathy Krolow was sent referencing the Costa Rican Law of Forestry 7575, Article 33 and 34, which prohibits cutting trees within 10 meters of the river in urban areas, asking them not to cut any more trees. A copy of this letter with the relevant parts of the Law will also be brought to my new neighbors Allan and Billy directly across the river (renovated Brenes house and the renovated Cabinas Elimar) who may not be fully aware of the legal prohibition on cutting trees. After a heavy downpour of more than five inches last week with a dramatic rise in the river, Jose and his son Anthony spent a morning helping me pour concrete to patch up uncompleted holes in the flood protection dike. Jose would not accept any payment except a bunch of bananas. My intended short visit here has stretched into almost three months of hard work but finally everything seems to be coming together.